Humans, we are funny creatures. Most of us have had the experience of feeling that things are “too good to be true?” Then instead of enjoying the good, we sit and wait for the “other shoe to drop,” we get a pit in our stomach wondering what will go wrong. Sometimes we may even sabotage the good. Have you ever had this experience? Why is this and how can you stop?
We are our own worst enemy. It is easier to listen to our inner critic rather than our inner cheerleader. Not feeling confident or feeling unworthy is quite common. Think about the last time someone gave you a compliment…did you accept it or did you deflect or minimize it? We seem to have equated confidence with arrogance when they are actually two different things. We have turned being self-deprecating into the norm. It is time to change that. Listen to your inner cheerleader.
It is a protective, defensive measure against hurt or disappointment. If we do something, even unintentionally, to sabotage an interview, then we minimize the disappointment if we do not get the job. If we do something to sabotage a relationship, then we minimize the hurt if that relationship ends. It is a manner of control…even if the outcome is bad, we feel better if we had some control in that outcome. To truly experience good things in life, we have to be willing to take risks. Take risks.
Do you want to focus more on what is going well and stay in that place? Here is a quick 2-step strategy.
- Sit: When you feel yourself drifting into negative territory, stop for a moment and reflect. Visualize those fears and worries and let them drift past you, like waves washing ashore.
- Stay: Focus on staying in the present moment and allow yourself to experience your joy. If you find yourself drifting again, go back to step one.
Life has its’ ups and downs and to be certain, you will experience both. Allow yourself to experience the good without fear. If you find yourself getting stuck in the negative, contact us. Counseling or coaching can help. You deserve it. There is good news…this “syndrome” can be cured.