If you are getting divorced, have you thought about a divorce coach? Whether you were blindsided or have been contemplating divorce for years, most people that I encounter have little idea how challenging the divorce process can be. It is a process, not an event. You have to gather documents and make decisions about parenting and finances. The process can take months or even years. It can be overwhelming, frustrating, and confusing. Let’s talk about the benefits of using a divorce coach, whether you choose mediation, litigation, or a Collaborative Divorce.

A divorce coach will help you:

Separate your emotions from decision-making: A coach is not a therapist. Therapy focuses on processing the past and involves a diagnosis of mental illness. Coaching focuses on the present and future and on actions and decision-making. Many impasses in the divorce process are related to emotions. A coach can help you identify this and move past these barriers to reach agreement. A coach can be your sounding board when you are frustrated, angry, or feel out of control.

Identify your concerns and interests: What do you really need post-divorce to support yourself? What are your fears about shared parenting? You may have thoughts about what you “want” yet what is your reasoning. A coach can help you identify these underlying concerns and interests, so that you can negotiate from a logical and reasoned perspective.
A coach can also consult with your attorney to help relay your concerns and interests and to discuss how to help you manage meetings, court dates, and conferences.

Organize your thoughts and questions to prepare for meetings with your attorney or settlement conferences: A coach is not an attorney and will not provide legal advice. Yet a coach can help you utilize your attorney more effectively and in a less costly manner. Think about the difference between a meeting where you are confused or overwhelmed versus one where you have a list of questions prepared. A coach can help you when you feel intimidated by the legal process.

What’s next?

Coaching can be done in-person or via phone or teleconferencing, so you will have access to your personal coach when needed. Talk with your attorney and consider contacting Janus Behavioral Health Services for coaching.