Change: Why It Can Be So Hard

For everyone, there are things we would like to do more of, or do less of, or do differently. Whether it is eating healthy, or stopping smoking, or being more patient, or ending your marriage, or changing careers. Professionals working with clients on any type of change realize that change is a marathon and not a [...]

By | August 2nd, 2016|0 Comments

BIFF: No I Am Not Talking About Back To The Future (although that would be fun)

A few weeks ago, I talked about why people are drawn to "narcissistic" personalities. That same week I also happened to spend two days training for Parent Coordination, which is basically an intervention for high conflict divorced parents, who seem incapable of co-parenting. (Trust me, do everything you can to avoid this.) Two days of delving [...]

By | March 22nd, 2016|0 Comments

Valentine’s Day Is Approaching, Let’s Talk About A Different, More Important V Word…Vulnerability

In Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, she describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.” How often do you find yourself having a conversation on a superficial level? How often do you expose only your “happy” self to the world? How [...]

By | February 9th, 2016|0 Comments

Dealing With Emotional Triggers

The work that I do is often contentious and filled with emotional triggers, whether in couples therapy, family therapy, divorce mediation, or a collaborative divorce. My clients are often at their worst point emotionally and struggle to manage these intense feelings. Time and time again, I see people being emotionally triggered and lashing out defensively. While [...]

By | November 17th, 2015|0 Comments

Tell Me More: A Powerful Tool

I was recently listening to a podcast with a segment about communicating with Alzheimer’s patients. It was discussing the use of the “yes and” technique from improv comedy. Basically this is a technique in which a comic joins and builds upon a skit. This is also what we in the mental health community refer to as [...]

By | September 22nd, 2015|0 Comments

The Summer Of Love’s End: How Not To Be Next

This summer has seen Jen and Ben, Miranda and Blake, Gwen and Gavin, and even Miss Piggy and Kermit announcing their divorces. Celebrities are human beings after all and struggle with the same challenges as us mere mortals. John Gottman is one of the foremost researchers and clinicians in the areas of marriage and relationships and [...]

By | August 25th, 2015|0 Comments

Create Your “To-Be” List

Do you have a “to do” list? I know that I do. I am so busy that if a task is not on my list, chances are that I will forget to do it. Yet, I do not have a “to be” list, a list of those traits and qualities that I would like to guide [...]

By | June 23rd, 2015|0 Comments

The Most Important Communication Skill: Talking About Talking

We have heard it all before. The most important part of a healthy relationship, particularly a marital relationship, is communication. Yet, what is it about communication that is important? In fact, talking about how we talk is the key factor. We all communicate differently. Our family of origin, our own temperaments, and our career choice influences [...]

By | May 5th, 2015|0 Comments

Helicopter Parenting: A Bad Recipe For Your Marriage

You have heard the unfortunate statistic that approximately half of all marriages end in divorce. Yet what about the other half? Are they happy? This might not be the most uplifting topic yet it warrants discussion. In a Psychology Today article Child-ol'-a-try John Gartner, PhD defines child-ol'-a-try as "the worship of one's children at the expense of [...]

By | August 19th, 2014|0 Comments